I like astrology, not in the "weekly horoscopes" type astrology, or even as a basis to predict my future. Rather, I'm a huge fan of zodiac characteristic profiling. It's pretty spot on, in my humble opinion. Most Libra's I know are people pleasers, wanting a balance in their environment. Leo's and Aries are pretty strong-minded and stubborn. Virgo's are pretty solid, salt of the earth people. I am a proud Pisces -- pretty fluid and goes with the flow for the most part. Look up the standard character description of a Pisces and you pretty much have pegged me (well, as much as you can peg "water"). I was a March baby, born on St. Patty's Day and I love, love, love, love being a Pisces.
A year ago today (June 25, 2009), dear Dr. T said these magic words "Well, your CA-125 score is 7 and I'm happy to tell you that you are in remission." He said it! He said "REMISSION" on June 25, 2009, the day I was given a "second go" on life! So, today's my first [second] birthday!
I cannot believe a year's since passed. It is at once so near and yet so far. It's fresh, still. But, it seems like a long time ago. I haven't forgotten. But it seems the world has, or at least the world around me has. And I wish I could forget like they could. But, I know that it'll be with me for a while, because Dr. T made very clear that I was in remission and not cured. Nonetheless, I am happy to have a second birthday. I'm happy to be here watching World Cup re-runs. I'm happy to have silly arguments with my daughter. I'm happy to be getting frustrated at work. I'm happy to wake up every day, even though getting out of bed is painful on all levels. Yes. I'm happy that it's been a year and I'm still fine. I'm blessed to be alive, no matter how grumpy I get. I'm happy it has not reared its ugly head at all.
It? What's "it?" Why, cancer, of course!
But guess what? When I looked up what Zodiac sign corresponds with my June 25 "birthday," I was amused when I found out it was "Cancer!" That's when I had a good chuckle with the powers that be! Someone has a sense of humor up there.
And, I'm glad to laugh about it. Now, please pass me a piece of that wonderful [Cancer] birthday cake.
L'CHAIM!
Life With Cancer
25 June 2010
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Why I'm Here
After having been hit with an advanced form of cancer in early 2009, I desperately raised my hands up in the air and asked "why me?" Apparently, there's no satisfactory answer to that question. So, I tried another one: "Now what?" That's when the road to discovering how to live with cancer opened up. "Live" is the operative word. Life is a process. And process is constant. Now, I don't purport my process to be the end-all-be-all. It's been quite a trip really, full of stumbles and falls. But, no matter how slowly or quickly, I eventually got up each time, albeit asking "now what?" many a time. The hope is that something here resonates with some of you out there, so that you know that you are not alone, or wrong, or beaten, or weak, or crazy – even when you raise your hands up to the air sometimes and ask, "now what?"
Yours Truly
- ce_squared
- I am in process "Process - the energy of being, the refusal of finality." - Jeanette Winterson.
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1 comment:
Congratulations on your "year" anniversary! That is just so wonderful, and I'll be praying for many, many more years of remission for you!
Hey, you share a birthday with my husband - March 17th! I don't know too many people born on that day!
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